Ways To Stop Stephen Growing a Beard.

For we do not want Stephen to become beardie.

1. Bribe him.

2. shave off his eyebrows and hold them to ransom.

3. Steal his laptop and hold IT to ransom.

4. Steal Julian, and threaten to kill him should stephen not shave his beard.

5. Engage in a highly secret and complicated night time mission to shave off his beard as he sleeps. And then blaming the missing facial hair on eating vast amounts of chocolate, or 'green lanterns'. *

6. Positive reinforcement.

7. Negative reinforcement.**

8. Wet Fish.

*
Operation eliminate beardie.
Agent number one going out on the field, and via a highly complex system of cables, pulleys and hooks, gliding noiselessly from the secret base to Stephen's room (codenamed the nest). Agent number two will be back at base, with a laptop, webcam, microphone, a mini mass spectrometer, an electronic pH reader and a whole bunch of other micro super agentie type gedgets some of which Agent number two has dispatched along with agent number one. She is guiding Agent number one by reading a bunch of sensors attachted to Agent number one's agent suit. For example, she's reading infrared, sonic radar, night vision, day vision, sound, ultraviolet, information of the surroundings alongside Agent number one's vital stats.

Agent number one mean while will then absail over stephen's bed, dangling precariously over his bed with some shaving foam and a couple razors take car of the facial hair...


**
Negative reinforcement...

Right. In the dead of night, two unidentified people go into Stephen's room. Splash ice cold water over him, knock him about a bit with his laptop, spash him again with cold water. Blindfold him, walk him around a bit and spinn him around to confuse him before plopping him onto a spinnie chair and shining a desk lamp into his face WWII torture/interogation stylee. Then once balacavers are safely on take off the blindfold and threaten to kill Stephen's laptop if he doesn't shave the beard. And possibly enter into a dialogue such as this:

XX: Shave the beard

Stephen: No

[Stephen gets a whack over the head with his laptop, and an electric shock from the electrodes attached to his nipples.]

XX: Shave the beard

Stephen: No

[Stephen gets a whack over the head with his laptop and an electric shock from the electrodes attached to his nipples.]

And so on and so forth until Stephen is a tortured gibbering wreck, cracks and agrees to shave the beard.

Then knock him out, plop him back into his bed and when he wakes up he'll think it was all a dream...


p.s I have been watching Greenwing recently...